Oi Pricks

Writing a book thing. Might tell you when it's done or at the halfway point or something.

It all makes sense

According to studies obesity makes you depressed, lazy, unathletic, dumb, ugly, smelly, and a bunch of other stuff, which I refuse to use bigger words for because they fail to get to the point.
Anyway, the fact that people portray obesity as the gradual metamorphosis from a human into a festering turd, conflicts with all the ideas of all men being equal, everything evening out. I was wondering why they were all panicked at the fact that America is full of fatasses until I found this and now it all makes sense.
Governments and societies want you to be certain things: optimistic, athletic, inventive, hardworking etc.
But I've seen people like this and have questioned if any of them are really that happy. Sure, optimism might sound good, but being optimistic isn't as important as repeating the same inane, meaningless slogans with a smile on your face.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the happiest man on earth is some fat cokehead on a motorcycle who doesn't wear a helmet. For thousands of years there have been clashing philosophies about whether life should be about pleasure, self improvement, or enlightenment and over time people have gotten caught up in shit and haven't had time to think about it. So we end up listening to people who have the qualities we think we want. We were probably told as some point that this is the ideal human being. That this is what we should aspire to be. And these pricks keep rephrasing what we need to do to become that. That's how they maintain control.

Another Death at a Funeral

What the hell? They used the SAME FECKING MIDGET.

Also I added labels to everything in this blog if anyone cares.

Santa Clause

I heard that, when they were bringing up the idea of making Santa Claus thinner, they were actually fecking serious. It's like they don't even consider thinking about their ideas before they say them. I mean just listen to that idea. Just say "Santa Clause needs to loose weight" out loud. If that's not one of the stupidest things you could possibly say, I don't know what is. How the hell would you explain to the children why Santa lost weight. The fat bastard has no conceivable reason for loosing weight because Santa Clause is immortal, married, lives in the middle of nowhere, and no one ever sees him. What the hell sort of motivation could he possibly have.
They might as well start encouraging children to make fun of the fat kid more often. At least that makes a little sense.

Also, on an unrelated note, I believe I might start writing more often. Since no one reads this anymore, I can keep writing crap and have no need to edit or care about the opinion of others.

Human

I have a theory that all this shit about humans being bad in District 9 and Avatar stems from stuff people saw in childhood, such as Bambi. And the way they get the audience to side against the humans, is by portraying the non-humans as adorable and portraying the humans almost one dimensionally as well as ugly.
This especially goes for District 9 where they just went out of their way to be douchebags to the point when they're more like cartoons than people. Like some sort of weird cartoon/human hybrid made by a mad scientist who was playing god at the time.
I haven't seen Avatar, but I know I'm going to see more of the same. And this shit been going on for a long time. There's a whole damn webpage dedicated to this. They're even putting real life examples and saying the destruction of the human race can't come soon enough. And these examples were usually ones where someone was being raped while everybody else did nothing, but you don't see these misanthropes on the internet do anything about it. They just get mad for a second and then go back to beating off to furry porn.

EDIT: Saw Avatar and I was absolutely right about it. In fact I was more right than I imagined, with the only exception being that the villain was far more interesting; Although, having a good actor play him definitely helped. I liked District 9 better because of the way they portrayed the aliens. District 9 didn't sugar coat the aliens too much. Avatar on the other hand had the aliens and the planet sugar coated to the point where everybody died of diabetes. The way the jungle in Avatar looked was so pretty that it disgusted me. In fact if there were two words I could use to describe the place in Avatar it would be repulsive and grotesque. The same applies to the aliens. Kind of like the way the Joker dressed in the old Batman film. While everyone else was supposed immersed in the "beautiful" scenery and alien people, I wanted to see everything killed because it was like a corrosive acid washing over my senses. I felt the need to see it burned down, and unsurprisingly the film delivered.

AND ANOTHER THING: I read that the people who think this film is the best thing, since sliced bread think that this film has an environmental message. Well SPOILER ALERT. The film ended on a pretty much hopeless note, where humans went back to their shit hole planet(it doesn't imply, but straight out says that) and those who helped were lucky enough to stay. Oh, and the main character gets to stay in his alien body because his human one is ugly and crippled and he lives with the aliens all happily ever after. The main character even says that humans killed mother earth. Now you could say that this is in the future, but killed is past tense and I doubt that they killed nature recently and second of all, how the fucking fuck are we supposed to compete with aliens who can literally connect with all the animals and shit. As a whole, I'd say District 9 is better unless you like really fucked up science fiction and only watch films for the special effects, which I can understand. But I'd rather watch Invictus anyway because it was about the same subject as District 9, but the people who wrote it either didn't feel like putting aliens in it, or had more testicular fortitude. It might not have aliens and it might not be all dark and edgy, but I have a feeling that it's a better movie. Mainly because it wasn't like two hours of some douche trying to shame me using aliens.

Vampires

Has anyone heard of a little story called Twilight? For those who like vampires, it gets worse.

What We Have Learned So Far

I thought it would be a good idea to write the 10 basic truths that this blog has gone over:
1. Psychologists are a bad influence
2. Barbecue chain restaurants are run by cults of redneck necromancers
3. Companies steal ideas from other people's blogs
4. Fans and audiences are easily brainwashed
5. If I'm saying I'm going to abandon this, I'm probably lying
5. Bill Gates is a robot
6. Wallgreens sells crack
7. Protestors are addicted to causes
8. Japanese cartoons are a type of psychological warefare used for Japan's plan for world domination
9. MySpace eats your soul
10. X-men is Nazi propaganda

XMen

I restarted this account or whatever and I haven't ranted in three years. As you can probably guess, I'm out of practice, so without further adieu, let's get started.


Reverend/General William Stryker seems like an unappreciated villain. Why don't people like him? Am I missing something? Are priests with big ass robot arms not cool? I know priests might not have the coolest job in the world, but is high school student or homeless guy or journalist any better? They can make hackers cool, but not priest? Even then, can any job be so uncool that having a giant robot arm can't improve it? Why the hell an I asking this? Anyway the answer is no and you're all dumbasses for not agreeing with me.
The reason why he doesn't have as big of a fan-base as he should have is that a quick, surefire way to make an audience know a villain is an asshole by making them hate blacks or gays or whatever. This is alright, but in this case they didn't even use the actual group, they just used a metaphor. If you still believe this horseshit makes sense, allow me to open your eyes by writing down how of the premise of X-Men would sound if the creators weren't pussies who danced around the issue:

A bald, crippled gay with telepathy and a hairy Canadian gay with claws team up with other gays to stop a gay Jew from destroying all straight people with magnetism.

And in the last few years the writes started making mutants gay anyway, which sucks for them because they're gay literally and metaphorically. And it sucks for me because I can't fit them into my version of the X-Men in the paragraph above because I'd end up having to describe them as "gay homosexuals" or "gay fags" or "double gays" and none of those sound good.
Anyway, the moral of the X-Men ends up being something along the lines of: Support gay rights or an army of robots will destroy the human race.

I'm pretty sure that if the founding fathers were in the X-Men universe, they would not have said "all men are created equally", but instead would have put:
"all men are created equally except for the ones who CAN SHOOT FUCKING LASERS OUT OF THEIR EYES"
I'm sure they'd understand not being able to accept people who can make you're head explode. Another problem is that in the comic, whenever there's a cure is causes cancer and is made of ground up puppies or some shit, so killing them is the only way the people in that universe can keep themselves from ending up like the people in the episode of Twilight Zone where the little boy made the whole town his bitch with his godlike powers.
What happened to power corrupts? What happened to beware the superman? It used to be that the manly warrior defeated the evil wizard and saved the land. Now it's the fat kid makes the wizard cry until he goes to a magical land of fairies and griffins. Priests used to kill vampires, but now priests fail miserably to kill vegetarian vampires who cut themselves and everyone cheers for the vampire.
Blacks and gays don't have superpowers and I don't think any metaphor that replaces blacks and gays with guys with superpowers has any chance of making any sense at all. Unless you say that blacks can run really fast and gays have the power to give great advice to women, but that's also considered discriminatory, which proves Marvel is racist as well as heterosexist(I'm going to use that because the word homophobic doesn't make much sense). Perhaps I can sue them.
Anyway my main point could be boiled down to three words: FUCK SOCIAL COMMENTARY

Shark Jumping

I was originally going to write a rant about traveling, but I made the mistake of letting one of my family members read it--out loud. I don't know if it is the same for everyone's family members, but when my family members read something I wrote out loud they make it sound like it sucks. I remember giving something to my father that I wrote for school when I was twelve, and he made it sound like it was written by a seven year old who was making a pathetic attempt to sound enthusiastic which might be the reason why I try to avoid showing enthusiasm any more, so in conclusion, letting a family member read something out loud, which you wrote can mentally scar you for life(or at least that's the way it is with me). Anyway, I gave it to my sister, and even though it was supposed to be funny, she read it like she was reading the obituaries or being interviewed about her parents being brutally murdered. You get the idea(and if you don't, the idea was that she sounded like she was going to burst into tears). Don't get me wrong. She had good intentions. She even added onto it and at first I wasn't discouraged, but over time, I got too discouraged to put the rant on the internet, even though it would be easy because I could have just copied it off the piece of paper I wrote it on and spent three days writing it. I don't mean to jump the shark by writting about current shite and my life, but its not like there was a shark to jump(I suck at wordplay). What I mean by that is, if you haven't noticed, this blog is not something extremely popular(or at least not at the moment) therefore, I have no fans, so they can't complain about it which is both a blessing and a curse. Anyway, to prove this, I'd like to point out that my sister's my space account has almost as many as my profile here and does she offer a joke or an opinion. The answer is NO. In fact she just chats on the website with her friends which goes sort of like this:
luckyst@r666: Hi :)
doggy**: Mr. O' Toole thros coctail partys
luckyst@r666: LOL
doggy**: Haha
luckyst@r666: Hehe
Repeat
My aunts(note that she is quite young) profile at a forum thing called Devauday(I'm not sutre how to spell it) which means hot German guy has tens of thousands of profile views. And what they talk about goes like this:
Jorgenschitzel: Should I wax my chest?
Leila: You'll still look manly if you have (pompous French word for wide shoulders)

Its better than my sister, but my aunt has tens of thousands of profile views to balance this, so it keeps me pissed off. I'm sorry if it annoys anyone that I'm changing the topic, but I haven't been posting much because its autumn so I have to get back to school. I have a funny, ironic story about school(I appoligize once again for being current and writing about my personal life)

I was at school and at the start of the school year, the teacher asked everyone what their name and to tell them something about themselves. The problem was that there was going to be a test on this, but alone this wouldn't be a problem. I mean a test on names and that sort of thing should be easy right especially if your taking notes right? WRONG!!
Note that part was supposed to be loud enough to scare you in case one of your family members or something is reading this to you.
Anyway this was because everyone in class was(or at least acted and looked like) white Americans. Anyway because they were all basically white americans, they all looked the same, had the same names, and for all I was concerned, had the same interests and hobbies and whatnot. It wasn't just because they were white Americans, that doesn't automatically make all their names and likes and dislikes similar. You probably get the idea. So anyway, when the test came, I just said to myself "This guy's name is probably Bill and because he's wearing a football jersey, he like Chinese food."(surprisingly, the thing that he said about himself was that he liked football). So anyway I got a higher number than I thought right. In fact, the biggest reason I did badly was because I didn't do a lot of the questions because it takes a long time to come up with a fake name and like or dislike. I think I might have gotten some of the ones I guessed right because they were remotely close and the the teacher didn't want to give me a grade that was too low. Anyway what happened after this was really ironic (but first to understand this, you need to understand that these people seemed exactly the same to me):
this was a class where the students gave speeches and they got to choose a quote to write a speech on and there was one subject that the quotes of quite a few(I might be exagerrating a bit but, it was a class of about 20 people and at least two did, not including myself if that doesn't seem like a lot, ignore this) students dealt with:
Individuality

However sadly, there are two other notes that ruin it a bit but I will say anyway because I'm honest unlike SOME people. First of all, I didn't take notes and second of all, I was sick after the first day until the day of the test. I find it amusing that if it wasn't for those few annoying bits of information, the story would be true, ironic, and funny. So I'm coloring this shite white.I just realized that waht I just wrote made me sound like a fecking wizard.
And remember; enjoy this post, it may be the last.