XMen

I restarted this account or whatever and I haven't ranted in three years. As you can probably guess, I'm out of practice, so without further adieu, let's get started.


Reverend/General William Stryker seems like an unappreciated villain. Why don't people like him? Am I missing something? Are priests with big ass robot arms not cool? I know priests might not have the coolest job in the world, but is high school student or homeless guy or journalist any better? They can make hackers cool, but not priest? Even then, can any job be so uncool that having a giant robot arm can't improve it? Why the hell an I asking this? Anyway the answer is no and you're all dumbasses for not agreeing with me.
The reason why he doesn't have as big of a fan-base as he should have is that a quick, surefire way to make an audience know a villain is an asshole by making them hate blacks or gays or whatever. This is alright, but in this case they didn't even use the actual group, they just used a metaphor. If you still believe this horseshit makes sense, allow me to open your eyes by writing down how of the premise of X-Men would sound if the creators weren't pussies who danced around the issue:

A bald, crippled gay with telepathy and a hairy Canadian gay with claws team up with other gays to stop a gay Jew from destroying all straight people with magnetism.

And in the last few years the writes started making mutants gay anyway, which sucks for them because they're gay literally and metaphorically. And it sucks for me because I can't fit them into my version of the X-Men in the paragraph above because I'd end up having to describe them as "gay homosexuals" or "gay fags" or "double gays" and none of those sound good.
Anyway, the moral of the X-Men ends up being something along the lines of: Support gay rights or an army of robots will destroy the human race.

I'm pretty sure that if the founding fathers were in the X-Men universe, they would not have said "all men are created equally", but instead would have put:
"all men are created equally except for the ones who CAN SHOOT FUCKING LASERS OUT OF THEIR EYES"
I'm sure they'd understand not being able to accept people who can make you're head explode. Another problem is that in the comic, whenever there's a cure is causes cancer and is made of ground up puppies or some shit, so killing them is the only way the people in that universe can keep themselves from ending up like the people in the episode of Twilight Zone where the little boy made the whole town his bitch with his godlike powers.
What happened to power corrupts? What happened to beware the superman? It used to be that the manly warrior defeated the evil wizard and saved the land. Now it's the fat kid makes the wizard cry until he goes to a magical land of fairies and griffins. Priests used to kill vampires, but now priests fail miserably to kill vegetarian vampires who cut themselves and everyone cheers for the vampire.
Blacks and gays don't have superpowers and I don't think any metaphor that replaces blacks and gays with guys with superpowers has any chance of making any sense at all. Unless you say that blacks can run really fast and gays have the power to give great advice to women, but that's also considered discriminatory, which proves Marvel is racist as well as heterosexist(I'm going to use that because the word homophobic doesn't make much sense). Perhaps I can sue them.
Anyway my main point could be boiled down to three words: FUCK SOCIAL COMMENTARY